


A waste of time.

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 22:42:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18433604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: Kayleigh lays John's doubts to rest.





	A waste of time.

“ No no no, this isn't right it's not fair on you, I can't do this, I'm sorry love I really am “ John said those words to an astonished Kayleigh, as he got off the settee and walked into the kitchen. They had been in the midst of a serious blow your socks off snogging session, she had thought that they were getting heated towards boiling point, at last , they were oh so close. But no, she was wrong again.

She sat up, looked towards the door and shook her head, trying to get some semblance of normality in her head, “ what had she done wrong now ?”

She stood up, pulled her skirt back where it should be and fastened a few shirt buttons, then walked barefoot towards the kitchen, knowing that whatever she was going to say would make or break this relationship, if that's what “ this “ was.

She took a deep breath and knocked, he didn't answer, but she went in anyway.

“ I'm sorry John “

“ You've nowt to be sorry for love, it's me, I'm sorry getting you involved in this waste of time”

“ Is that what I am to you , a waste of your time, really ?” Kayleigh felt her voice falter.

“No, you're not , it's me, I'm wasting yours , I'm sorry love really sorry“ John was standing looking out the window,

“ How?”

“ What ?”

“ How are you wasting my time, I've chosen to come here tonight, to spend time with you, to be with you, it's my choice, my time and I don't think it's  being wasted”

“ I can't give you what you want, what you need, what you deserve in life, I'm just not able”

“ Effing psychic now are you ?, all my wants, needs and desires laid bare to your all seeing eye, oh bloody turn round John “ Kayleigh said in exasperation.

John did, he would do anything for Kayleigh.

“ Do you think I'm stupid John, is that it, you think that I don't know what's good for me, and that you do ?”

“ You're not stupid love , not by a long chalk “

“ Good, that's one thing I've  got going for me then” Kayleigh pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table, she let out an audible sigh. She crossed her arms and stared at John, shaking her head, willing herself not to cry.

“ John, when you were little did you ever get lost, I mean were you ever in town with your mum or dad and lose them, turn round and they were gone sort of thing? “

“ Aye, we were int town centre, a horse of all things came galloping down the street, I stopped to look and they didn't notice, think I were six “

“ Remember how you felt ?”

“ Aye “  John swallowed deep at the memories.” I do “

“ That's how I feel “

“ Eh ?”

“ When I'm not with you John, when you drive off at night after we say goodbye, when I see you leave the shop to go somewhere, when you stop holding me, stop kissing me, and just walk off like you just did, that's how I feel John, like a lost forlorn six year old adrift in a big ugly world with not a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on, having no one, wondering if I'm gonna survive, because sometimes I think I won't, and it's frightening me John “

“I'm sorry “

“ John, I've told you before I love you, but, and I can't believe I'm saying this , if you honestly think that you will never ever have feelings for me, I'll accept that, I won't stop loving you , I couldn't if I tried, but I'll try to accept it nonetheless. All my talk about wasting time becoming a mum, well that was then, this is now. I need you John, I know you don't know it but I do, every second I spend with you , near you or even seeing you is a special second, not a wasted one, they make the lonely scared times a bit more manageable, do you see ?

“ I do “

“You see what I mean ?”

“ No , I love you, that's what I mean by I do, I love you Kayleigh, that's what I mean”

“ So how can you think your wasting my time?”

John sat at the table and took her hands, they gazed into each others watery eyes.

“ You deserve the best”

“ I've got it “

“ I'm serious Kayleigh, I want you to have the best, not settle for……..”

“ For God's sake , I'm not settling for anything, John, I've fallen in love with you, hook, line and sinker, I didn't see you one day and say to myself , he’ll do, he's the best so far, I'll take him until someone better comes along, love isn't like that , we've done it the old fashioned way, went from knowing each other, to friends, best friends and lovers, almost, in a few months, and not one second of that has been wasted, unless you feel it has ?”

“ I've loved every second of it too, they're all precious , you're precious, I love being with you, love you being in my life.”

“ How are you wasting my time then ?”

“ It's hard to articulate how I feel “

“ Do you want me ?”

“ Eh ?”

“ Do you John, want me Kayleigh?, simple question John, do you ?”

“ Yes of course I do, I have for a while, a long while if I'm honest “

“And I want you, so the way I see it we want each other, we've got each other and we know we love each other, so why do you still think you're wasting my time,? cause I've got what I want John, a gentle caring man, thoughtful and loving, considerate, a man I trust more than anyone, a wonderful human being who I know loves me, and who I love dearly and I know I'll love forever “

“ And I've got the whole world in my hands, a little redheaded world of wonder and delight, all my dreams come true, a gift from God “

“ So are you wasting time John? “ Kayleigh said softly.

“ Yes “

“ What ?” Kayleigh was taken aback and tried to pull her hands away, but John held on and smiled lovingly. He had made a decision.

“ Every minute I'm not telling you I love you, or not kissing your face off is time wasted lady, so let's not waste any more eh ? “

He led a smiling Kayleigh by the hand back towards the lounge settee, as they reached the bottom of the stairs Kayleigh stopped, John turned toward her.

“ I'm running out of time John, I don't have time to waste “ she said as she moved up the first two steps, a huge mischievous grin on her face.

“ I've heard that before somewhere “ John said grinning.

“ I'm serious John, I don't have time to waste” she smiled.

John pretended to think for a while, then sighed.

“ Right lady get up those stairs, and this best not be a waste of time “ he chuckled.

“ It won't be “ Kayleigh said pulling her shirt over her head as she headed up, “ I can promise you that."


End file.
